By Ashutosh Karnatak
Listening to the inner voice – trusting the inner voice – is one of the most important lessons of leadership."
It has been observed that most of the inter/intra problems are due to improper communication. Most of us also suffer from this menace because we do not hear others properly. It may be our ego or mental preoccupation that hinders absorption of the communication inside the mind. Generally we hear do not listen. Most of the conflicts /confusions/difference in opinions is due to improper listening. Due to mental prejudices, notions and convictions, closed mind, perceptions etc we do not allow words to flow deeply into our mind Therefore it is even more necessary to develop capability of listening. Most of our homes, our organization, our society, and us are victim of this bad listening capability. Therefore, this subject needs a thorough analysis.
a) Hearing: It is passive form of listening. In this, one hears the words of speaker and emotionally involved .Its an outward approach having transfer of words from one to another without nay emotion to it as receiver is passive. One receives partial conversation only and only that text goes inside the mind which is of interest or which you like to hear. In hearing process, context is retained in the mind or memory to a very less extent.
b) Listening: It is hearing when you hear all words. Here combination of ear and heart is used. It confirms no difference in understanding between sayer and listener. It’s an inward approach, wherein mind and heart both are used. It is absorbing of the words inside the body. One is able to decode the same at the time of requirement. For students it is very important – whenever they are in the class, they only hear. In case one starts listening then he would not take much of time to understand the subject. For this one can not be made fully responsible, but his mental engagement, prejudices are responsible. Need is the develop habit of absorbed listening. Similarly, in office, most of the officer has a habit of speaking in between when another person is explaining. It may be due to paucity of time or mental engagement, but he is not being listened properly. In fact, in this process ear, hear and mind all works in tandem. Real we use of ears can be had only when we have habit of listening.
Knowing the difference, it is clear that where we stand:
2)Advantage of Listening:
In fact whenever we are engaged in some conversation, we are not actually listening to the person, but what for a chance to speak /react out and mentally prepare sentences and also the vocabulary to be used.
Following advantages can be obtained if we shift from hearing to listening:
It has been experienced that people generally say that at this age, it is difficult to change ourselves and these sorts of articles are only matter of preaching. It has been experienced that improvement:
SO with above preface in mind , if you have open mind and readiness to receive some techniques as illustrated below , then read further ……
3) Techniques for developing skill for Absorbed Listening(AL):
1) Have proper body language: The first requirement is to have proper body language. It is worth understanding that whenever some body is speaking to you, he has not come out of love (barring some cases), but wants to communicate you on some subject and seeks your attention. It has been seen that when somebody comes to you – you don’t pay attention to him. It has following demerits :
• Unknowingly you are insulting the speaker.
Therefore, whenever one speaks to you. Change you body language with a view that you are fully attentive to the subject, and in case you are busy better advise him to speak later rather to have a incomplete and incorrect communication . Full attention is required to be given to the speaker, make use of your ears and during the conversation if any phone call comes ask the caller to call later. Similarly if a student is in class, his body language should be of total attention, then only lesson taught by the class teacher shall be able to penetrate inside the mind.
2) Listen attentively each word: Listening is an art, which is skilled after a long practice and which is not taught in any class. Incidentally, it is required most of the time. Thus, whenever some one is in conversation with you had better listen to his words care fully along with the tone attached with this .some time for the same words different tones have different meaning. By paying attention, the time to find out the real meaning of the communication later. Therefore, it is better to listen attentively each word.
3) Leave all the works before giving hearing to someone: It is an essential gradient for absorbed listening .Whenever, somebody come for telling something. Leave all the works and pay focused attention to him. It would enable you to understand the subject.
4) Switching technique: It is a unique technique.Fictitiously place switches around your forehead like :
Now when you are in listening mode then switch off al other switches and keep open switch for listening. It’s a psychological exercise but helps. It is basically auto-suggestion to the mind that you are not engaged in other activities and only focusing towards listening. Practice the technique it helps.
5) Create Friendly atmosphere: It is essential for the receiver of any communication to develop a friendly atmosphere, so that the speaker is able fell comfortable while speaking. Most of the time we do not get requisite information as other has inhibition during conversation due to unfriendly atmosphere. Therefore, make the speaker comfortable and give a friendly atmosphere enabling proper communication.
6) Meditation: Listen to everything all the time and remind yourself when you are not listening – it is one of the panaceas for better listening. Mind and heart are two major constituents of the body who have major role in life. They govern all the actions. Therefore, for absorbed listening (AL) meditation is helpful. It helps in cleansing of mind, which in turn reduces anxiety, cobwebs, prejudices of mind which restraints in being a good listener.
Based on the above, you can try above techniques and develop yourself as an” Absorbed Listener (AL)”
Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:
Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Cannon's Karmic Law:
O’Brien’s Variation Law:
RUBY'S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS:
ZADRA'S LAW OF BIOMECHANICS:
Future Forecast: December 2005
Auspicious Days: 1,5,13,14,19,20,25,28,29 December 05